Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Contemplation

All of us are born with certain traits: introverted, extroverted, sloppy, meticulous, etc. Some of our traits can be changed, some cannot. But should we try to change?

I am an introvert. I have two very close friends that know EVERYTHING about me, and I do mean everything. One is the complete opposite of me, a social butterfly. The other, my sister, is also the opposite of me while still being like me in several ways. To those of you extroverts out there, only two "best friends" sounds pretty sad. I'm perfectly happy with it. I still have lots of acquaintances and friends, I just don't invest as much of myself and my time into them.

I think I was born to be in a hurry. It doesn't matter if I have a deadline or time limit, I seem to always be in a perpetual state of rushing. Well, at least until I run myself down. I go 90-to-nothing all morning long and then spend the rest of the day trying to recover. It's no wonder I have problems with anxiety. My body always feels like it's in the fight or flight state. Around 9:00 each evening I get my second wind and then spend the rest of the night trying to unwind so I can go to bed. I can't turn off the light until I know that I will fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. If I don't go right to sleep, my mind starts cranking out anxiety-producing thoughts that keep me up for hours.

So what's a Type-A personality to do? Are we supposed to make the best of our strengths/weaknesses that we are born with or try to change? What if every Type-A person tried to become more easy-going and laid-back? Not that I will EVER be either of those in this or any other lifetime. Are Type-B people supposed to become more goal-oriented and uptight? Does it upset the balance of things when we try to change who we are inherently?

I think what my struggle boils down to is this: I feel like I run, run, run constantly and never get anything accomplished. If I take the time and effort to slow down, enjoy life more, and try not to be so stressed-out all the time, will I ever get anything done? Is it just a handy excuse for letting things slide? I already feel like a lazy person (as evidenced by my house). Will I turn into a complete and total bum?

Please give me some feedback on this one, even if you normally don't chime in. I'd like to know how people of both sides of the issue feel about it.

Labels: ,


Posted @ 10:46 AM ~ 9 comments

Post a Comment