Friday, March 31, 2006

A New Arrival

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to the newest member of our family:

The order was placed on Wednesday and he's already here! We are going to be great friends. We've spent several hours together already, getting to know each other. As long as he works as hard as he promises, things will be just fine.

Posted @ 4:44 PM ~ 3 comments

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Thursday, March 30, 2006

Feeding My Addiction

Hello, my name is Ton. I am a TV addict. Especially reality shows. I love, love, love some of the shows out there. Some I watch when I get a chance and some I tape faithfully every week. It's not unusual for me to have a stack of tapes 7 or 8 deep. I seem to be the only one in my family with this addiction, but Karate Kid could easily be hooked if we're not careful.

Yesterday I ordered Tivo. Yes, I know that I'm the last person on earth without one. Blame that on The Hubster. I am now waiting very impatiently for it. My habit is going to be easier than ever--and probably more abundant. In the meantime, I'm counting the minutes until naptime (theirs, not mine) so I can catch up on some of my shows.

*edited to add* We are under a tornado watch right now, and the weather guys are already breaking in with weather reports. That means I'm going to miss my shows tonight. They'll re-air them at really weird times, like 1:37 tomorrow morning. My trusty VCR will have to do the dirty work for me so we can all watch the weather and stay safe tonight.

Posted @ 11:29 AM ~ 3 comments

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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Out of the Mouths of Babes

On the way home from Brownies last night, Drama Queen informed me that they are making a Girl Scout cookbook and that we needed to bring 2 or 3 favorite recipes to the next meeting. I asked Drama Queen what recipes she wanted to take, but she was having a hard time coming up with one. She finally said, "What's the recipe for Hamburger Helper?" I explained that it came in a box and wasn't really a recipe. She thought a few more minutes but still wasn't coming up with anything. I finally asked if she wanted to take my homemade pizza recipe. She was convinced that it came out of a box too, so we argued back and forth about homemade vs. boxed. She finally said in a very exasperated voice, "Mom, there aren't any recipes I can take! You only make things out of a box. You hate to cook, so you only cook boxed stuff!"

She's right.

Posted @ 4:58 PM ~ 2 comments

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Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Pooper Scooper

I was reading about poopy messes over here A Beautiful Mess: Poop Troop #2. I decided that my list of stories would be too long to leave in a comment, so I decided to share here. Those of you easily grossed out by poop stories, just keep on surfing.

Story 1:

When Karate Kid was a baby, we went out to eat with my parents and siblings. Karate Kid was perched in a high chair next to us. I started smelling something and began to investigate. Not only had K.K. had diarrhea, it had run out of his diaper, down the high chair legs and onto the floor. The high chair had wheels, so I had wheeled the whole thing, Karate Kid still buckled in, into the bathroom to clean it up.

My brother's best friend, essentially my second brother, was our waiter that night. He had the fun job of cleaning up the mess at the table. I was horrified.

That's not the worst of it. We waited a decent amount of time before going back to the same restaurant, hoping everyone would forget the earlier incident. No such luck because Karate Kid pulled the same stunt that time too!

Story 2:

When Drama Queen was less than a year old, I changed her diaper in the living room floor. For some reason, I had to get up before I got her diaper back on her. By the time I got back, she had wet in the floor. I ran to get a towel to clean it up and came back to find that she had pulled up to the couch and was eating the poop she had just deposited on the carpet.

Story 3:

This one's not a poop story, but it's funny enough to tell anyway.

One night I was reading in bed, and The Hubster had just turned the TV off. We heard something down the hall, so The Hubster went to investigate. He started yelling, so I, of course, came running. Karate Kid had gotten up and thought he had gone into the bathroom. He was actually peeing all over the wall between his bedroom door and Drama Queen's door! I was laughing so hard I couldn't do anything. The Hubster was worried about the wall and the carpet, but all I could think of was what a great story it would be.

Posted @ 6:05 PM ~ 2 comments

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Monday, March 27, 2006

Feeding Time at the Zoo

The little ones that I keep are the best birth control around. Every day I am reminded of why I don't want any more children (and can't thanks to The Hubster's "procedure"). Case in point:

This morning at snack time, Girl #1 spilled her bowl of cereal, flooding the table, the floor and her lap with milk. Not 5 minutes after I cleaned that up, Girl #2 dropped her bowl of cereal on the floor. Clean up once again. Boy #1 then proceeded to dirty his diaper enough to break free from the constraints of his diaper. As I was changing him and finding one of Drama Queen's shirts small enough to fit him, Boy #2 shoved a soggy Fruit Loop up his nose. Girl #1 then spilled her new bowl of cereal again!

Days like this make wonder if I shouldn't get a degree in zoology.

Posted @ 10:02 AM ~ 1 comments

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Sunday, March 26, 2006

It's Official...

...I win the Worst Mother in the World award. Karate Kid left on Friday to go on a Boy Scout camping trip and came home today to a dead hamster. The one that I forgot to feed.

Posted @ 9:03 PM ~ 0 comments

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Saturday, March 25, 2006

Silence Is Golden

This weekend is a welcome respite from the crazy, loud week I've had. My whole family has been gone since 6:00 last night. My sister and another of my friends came over for a while, so I had company during the evening. Normally I don't like to stay by myself at night, but I think my body was craving some peace and quiet.

It's been so nice not having to listen to the noise that my family generates. I also love that I haven't been interrupted a million times by someone asking me to get them something, find something, fix something or buy something. The latter will be short-lived, though, because as soon as Drama Queen gets home and realizes that I didn't make it to the store yet, she'll want to go right away to get the game she's been bugging me about for the last 3 days. Not only have I read the synopsis of this game for myself, she has read it to me at least twice. Actually it's probably been more than that, but I'm perfecting the art of selective hearing.

Members of the male persuasion seem to have been born with this ability, but I am having to learn. You would think I would already be an old pro at it from listening to The Hubster read me every single ad in the paper about whatever it is he is drooling over at the moment. He changes what he wants to buy like he changes his underwear. He continually cycles between a new house, a new camper and a new boat. He is stuck on a new camper right now since I've relented and said that I would like one also.

No matter how many times I tell him I'm a visual person, he insists on reading every ad to me. Everything runs together when he does that. I start getting brands, lengths, year models, and prices all jumbled together in my mind. I don't think he understands yet that I just don't care. All I want is for him to find what he wants, I'll look at it and give him my feedback, and we'll take it from there. His goal is to find a new one by the time we go camping for Memorial Day weekend. The hunt will begin in earnest when he gets home.

Operation Silence is quickly coming to an end. Drama Queen and her friend are meeting me at the movies in T-minus 58 minutes. I'm off to enjoy the quiet while it lasts.

Posted @ 12:05 PM ~ 1 comments

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Friday, March 24, 2006

Bits and Pieces

Here are some shots of my children yesterday afternoon. This was after I had forced them both off the computer and threatened Drama Queen to get her to play with her brother.

It's hard to believe that we woke up to snow covering everything. Did you notice that Karate Kid is barefoot?!

Today is the day he and The Hubster go on their very first Boy Scout camping trip. I'm mildly worried. It's only going to be 29° tomorrow morning. At least the burn ban was lifted this week so they actually get to have a fire! The other thing I'm concerned about are the sleeping arrangements. Boy Scouts is about the boys, about them growing, maturing and learning to be self-sufficient. I get all that. But the boys will be sleeping in tents on the opposite side of the camp as the adults. Karate Kid's friend and possibly someone else will be sharing a tent with him. This is going to be very interesting since K.K.'s been sleeping in our floor some this week. He loves to stay up late (it's Spring Break), but he gets scared to go to bed by himself when everyone else is asleep. At least he'll have some company in his tent!

I worry about all of the stories you hear in the news about Boy Scouts leaders molesting the Scouts. That's one of the reasons The Hubster is so involved. But I also worry about one of the other boys molesting him. I have no problem with his friend that's sharing a tent with him, but how do I know that one of the other boys won't try something? Thankfully the first thing the boys have to do when they join Scouts at any level is child protection training (physical abuse and molestation).

I'm sure everything will be just fine and they'll have a great time. In the meantime, I've got lots of laundry to do to get them ready. Joy.

One last thing. Karate Kid told me last night that if they forget to take toilet paper, they can pay 50 cents per square or use a leaf. He woke up this morning and took a shower. As soon as he had his clothes on, he walked through the living room with a roll of toilet paper in his hand, on his way to put it in a Ziploc bag. After all, the Boy Scout motto is Be Prepared!

Posted @ 7:21 AM ~ 2 comments

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Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Why Some Animals Eat Their Young

It is Spring Break around here, and my children have been driving me nuts! I love having them home from school. I love the whole we-can-stay-up-late, we-can-sleep-late, no homework, no extra activities thing. BUT this has been the coldest, wettest week we've had in months! Yesterday there was a shortage of friends to play with, so I heard "I'm bored" a bajillion times. I personally feel that it is good for them to be bored occasionally. They are forced to be creative then. Usually. Mine just spent the day fighting over whether or not they were going to play together.

Karate Kid: Come on, let's go play.
Drama Queen: No, I don't want to.

She says this only because this is about the only time she has any control over her brother. "Hmmm. If I say no I won't play with him, it really ticks him off. I can decide if I want to play if and when I want to play."

D.Q. finally relented and said she would play only if they played Kids in the Forest, some game that she made up that K.K. hates. K.K. then tried to compromise, a concept totally foreign to Drama Queen, who thinks it should be her way all the time.

K.K.: I'll play anything you want as long as we don't play that. And I won't boss you around.
D.Q. No, I'm only going to play with you if we play Kids in the Forest.

And on and on (and on!) it continued. For hours. They both wanted someone to spend the night last night, and I was thrilled with the idea just so they would be entertained and out of each other's hair.

Drama Queen woke up in just about the same kind of mood. There is one little girl that I watch that D.Q. has a problem with. I don't know if there is some kind of personality conflict or what. Maybe it's because the first day that I started watching this girl (she was 6 months old), I leaned her over to give D.Q. a kiss, and she threw up all over D.Q.'s arm. Whatever the case, it's like they are siblings, fighting to the bitter end. Whenever D.Q. can't get anyone else riled up, she just goes and stands next to this girl. That's all it takes. Knock down, drag out chaos ensues. And heaven help us if D.Q. touches anything that belongs to this little Drama-Queen-in-Training!

I'm already looking for the tranquilizer gun and the bottle of booze--and it's only 9:30! It's going to be a long day.

Posted @ 9:19 AM ~ 3 comments

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Tuesday, March 21, 2006


A couple of times I have taught my son something that I immediately regretted. Things that I normally would never do except that I was in that silly, giggly, immature mood. A few years ago I taught my son how to make bodily noises with his hand in his armpit. Ffffftttt. You know what I'm talking about. What's so strange is that manners are a huge deal with me. And I hear enough of those noises as it is. I sure didn't need to teach him to make even more.

Apparently, I lost my mind again. A couple of nights ago I explained the fine art of gleeking. That's one of the genteel, ladylike things I learned at college. Why, why did I show him how to do that?! It will definitely come back to haunt me, most probably right in the eye.

The next morning he was practicing on the way to school. Drama Queen, who had missed the whole learning experience, had already figured out that if she clicked her tongue, the same thing would happen. We all quickly figured out that she looked like one of these sprinklers. Before we knew it, we had each added our own suggestions until she was doing her own version of the non-dance sprinkler, complete with water and sound effects.

I'm so grown up.

Posted @ 8:07 PM ~ 2 comments

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Sunday, March 19, 2006

Party Animals

Friday night was Girls Night with my friends. It was actually supposed to be 3 of my friends and my sister. It turned out to be me and my friend because everyone else was sick or had to do other things. We hang out together all the time, but Girls Night is supposed to be different---loud talking, lots of laughing, junk food snacks, you get the idea. Since, it was just the two of us, we ended up eating junk food, watching a so-so movie, and then running out of things to do. My friend just got back from a trip to San Diego, so we looked at her vacation pics and then watched a show on The Travel Channel.

Not quite the raucous evening I had pictured, but there's hope for this week. Friday night was at her house because the rest of her family was gone camping. This week is possibly my turn, if things work out, because The Hubster and Karate Kid are going to be gone on a Boy Scout camp out weekend. If we don't have plans with my family to hang out with my uncle who is coming to town, Girls Night is back on!

Posted @ 6:19 PM ~ 3 comments

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Friday, March 17, 2006

New Look

As you can tell, I just got a new template. Denise over at Mood Swing Creations did such a great job! There's a button over on the left-hand side of this page that will take you to her site. Go on over and check it out!

Drama Queen, true to her name, threw a huge fit when she saw it. I thought she would be pleased and a little flattered that she is featured so prominently. I felt like a tornado had just blown into me by the time she was through. She took the whole thing to mean that we were making fun of her. No matter what I said, it didn't help calm her down. She ended the conversation by threatening to make her own blog when she is an adult and posting things about my anatomy (the nothern region).

Please pass the Valium.

Posted @ 10:21 AM ~ 1 comments

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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

New Motivation

Drama Queen's room is usually an absolute and total mess. I don't know if it's because she has the smallest room and she actually plays with all of her stuff or what. Whatever the case may be, The Hubster found a new way to get her to clean her room. We are getting a new puppy in 6 or 7 weeks, and she is begging for the puppy to sleep in her room. The Hubster told her that if she kept her room clean every day from now until then, the pupy could sleep in the crate in her room. It'll also be an ongoing thing: room not clean, no puppy in there that night. I actually had to make her stop cleaning last night to go to bed. Miracles never cease.

Posted @ 12:05 PM ~ 1 comments

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Saturday, March 11, 2006


Going grocery shopping with me must be like going to a freak show. I am very, very particular about so many things when I shop. First off, I have to drive my vehicle. I favor my 16yo Suburban over our 4yo extended cab truck. The truck has those weird opening doors that make it impossible to unload the groceries out of the cart without opening and closing the door each time. The only time it works is when there isn't a car parked next to the truck. When is there never a car parked next to you at Wal-Mart? And not everything fits in the truck, so then I have to haul things up and over the sides of the truck to put them in the bed. Of course, they have to be the heavy things so they don't blow out. I think I need to do a little more strength training before I do too much of this.

My grocery list has to be on a clipboard. Yes, this makes me the biggest nerd in the store. But how else can you cross things off the list without poking holes in the paper or crumpling up the whole list? And when my printer has ink, I print out a paper that has each aisle listed so I can make my list in the order that I traverse the store.

I also have a certain order that the groceries go on the conveyor belt: heavy items like milk and pop first, all cans next, cold food after that, boxes next, then bags, produce, bread and eggs. It took several times of shopping with me before The Hubster got it right. Those were some interesting conversations.

I like how everything fits on the conveyor belt until I get towards the end. I have to admit I get a little tense when I can't fit things like the produce and odds and ends neatly on the belt. When things start sliding around, my stress level starts to climb.

Putting them back in the cart once they're bagged is another thing that has to be just so. Today there was a checker waiting to take over so the one working could take a break. She grabbed a few sacks and put them in my cart once they were full. I know she was only trying to help. Really I do. I was so glad when she stopped after two. Otherwise, how could I rearrange my basket without being rude?

So if you ever stop at a Wal-Mart in Oklahoma and see some crazy woman muttering about packages of rice and Ramen noodles sliding around on the conveyor belt or rearranging the placement of her sacks in the cart when her husband or the checker is helping load the cart, come on over and say hi. Who knows, you may just help stop an argument over where the next sack should go!

Posted @ 12:17 PM ~ 2 comments

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Tuesday, March 07, 2006

From Left Field

On the way to school today we heard that Dana Reeves (Christopher Reeves' wife) had died. I commented on how she hadn't known about her cancer for very long before she died. Karate Kid asked who she was and then who Christopher Reeve was. After my explanation, I was worried that Drama Queen would worry about us dying. She immediately piped up with, "I hope Delilah doesn't die! She's my favorite person to listen to."

I guess I shouldn't have worried.

Posted @ 9:10 AM ~ 1 comments

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Friday, March 03, 2006


Karate Kid had to go out to the garage to get some dog food this morning since we had used all that was in the container in the house. I stuck my head out the door to make sure he found it, just in time to witness him gagging. Since we have a deep freeze and another refrigerator out there, I was afraid one of them had gone out and spoiled the food. When I asked him what was wrong, he said, "I HATE the smell of this dog food! It smells like crap. No wonder the dogs eat their own crap--they think it's food."

I never thought of it that way.

Posted @ 11:25 AM ~ 0 comments

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Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Green Acres--Not the Life For Me

I am a townie. Hopefully that doesn't mean anything other than what I take it to mean. In my case, it means I love living in town. Not the city. Cities are too big, have too much crime, and are much too scary for my taste. Country life is too quiet. Quiet equals depression. I like to have neighbors around, even if I don't talk to them. Just knowing there are people around and hearing them coming and going is enough for me.

Last night confirmed my feelings. After a snowstorm last week, we have reached summer temperatures this week. I opened the bedroom window when we went to bed. It was absolutely wonderful. I could hear cars travelling on the highway, somebody hotdogging down the street and airplanes headed to the nearby airport. I usually turn on a sound machine at night to add a little white noise. I just can't sleep in the quiet. Hearing all of the sounds and feeling the wonderful air coming through the window was so relaxing!

Proof that The Hubster and I are opposites came tonight. His dream is to live in the country. He keeps threatening to buy some property and a little house so he can go stay there whenever he wants...or to live there and I can come visit whenever I feel like it. In any case, he told me that his allergies are really bothering him and he didn't know if we could open the window tonight. I was disappointed, of course, and told him how much I had enjoyed hearing all of the sounds. He quickly told me that he couldn't sleep because of all of the noise. *sigh* I guess I'm back to listening to the sound of rain from the sound machine tonight.

Posted @ 9:00 PM ~ 1 comments

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